We all have days when emotions run high - maybe a child cries easily, a teenager snaps at simple requests or an adult withdraws completely. But how can we tell when someone is simply having a 'bad day' versus when they’re experiencing emotional dysregulation?
This is a common question asked by parents, support workers, and carers - especially when working with individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD or a history of trauma. Understanding this difference is key to providing the right support and building emotional resilience.
What Is Emotional Dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation is when someone struggles to manage or recover from intense emotional responses. This can look different depending on age, challenges and past experiences, but common signs include:
Frequent or intense emotional outbursts
Difficulty calming down after distress
Big reactions to small triggers
Withdrawal, shutdowns or meltdowns
Difficulty naming or understanding their own emotions
This isn’t about being 'naughty' or 'overreacting', it’s often a sign of underlying needs not being met, sensory overload or a nervous system that is under stress.
A ‘Bad Day’ vs. Emotional Dysregulation
Bad Day | Emotional Dysregulation |
Occasional, short-term | Frequent or ongoing |
Linked to specific events (poor sleep, argument) | May seem out of the blue or triggered by small things |
Calms down with time, rest or routine | Struggles to return to baseline without support |
Able to reflect or explain emotions after a while | May not have the tools to reflect or communicate emotions |
Why It Matters
Misinterpreting emotional dysregulation as defiance or poor behaviour can damage trust and cause frustration for everyone involved. When we approach with compassion and understanding, we create space for healing, learning and growth.
How to Support Someone Experiencing Emotional Dysregulation
Stay calm and grounded yourself
Your steady presence helps co-regulate their nervous system.
Use simple, supportive language
Try: “I’m here for you. We’ll get through this together.” Avoid asking questions mid-crisis.
Offer sensory or calming strategies
Weighted blankets, movement, quiet time or breathing exercises can help.
Build a toolkit together
When they’re calm, work together on a list of what helps. This empowers the person and gives you both a plan for the next time.
Don’t rush regulation
Some people need time. Forcing verbal conversation too soon can escalate distress.
When to Seek Professional Help
If emotional dysregulation is impacting daily life, relationships, school or work, it’s time to reach out. Our team at Calm Minds Clinic can provide assessments and ongoing support - whether through psychology, counselling or creative arts therapy.
Final Thoughts
Supporting someone through emotional dysregulation can be challenging, but with the right understanding and tools, it becomes an opportunity for connection and growth.
You don’t have to navigate it alone.
We’re here to help.
Looking for personalised support?Contact us to book a session or find out more about our therapy services and psychological assessments.
03 4233 6470
